


Hold on Till May

by orphan_account



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst, Cutting, Love, M/M, Mentions of Suicide, Pining, Self Harm, Suicide, larry - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-15
Updated: 2015-06-15
Packaged: 2018-04-04 12:03:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,233
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4136766
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>My life disguised as a Larry fanfic<br/>Read if you dare</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hold on Till May

**Author's Note:**

> I don't own One Direction  
> Or Pierce The Veil  
> Or the song Hold on Till May  
> This song has just helped me loads  
> And I wanted to use it  
> Here's a angsty Larry fic

**She sits up high surrounded by the sun. One million branches and she loves everyone.**  
-

 

Sunlight was his absolute favorite. The way it would shine, lighting up his skin. Protecting him from the darkness. People would laugh and play around him. Couples loving one another unconditionally. So he'd sit at his window. In his broken town. 

His friends weren't true friends. He was unwanted. No one ever had a crush on him. His family hated him. No talents. But he was okay. He was so good at faking a smile. He convinced himself. 

 

**Mom and dad, did you search for me, I've been up here so long. I'm going crazy**

 

It started with his father.. His father's abuse. The slurs, and jabs, the physical abuse along with mental. But then he got put away. And for a while he thought he was okay. He was. Okay. Everything was better. But then. His mom was quieter, and alcoholism, and a gambling problem resulted in no food. 

His brother was an asshole. Ate everything there was. So he wouldn't eat for days. Along with this came his sister's problems. She was such a fucking bitch, disobeyed mom, and got herself pregnant twice. Pregnancy is expensive. So.. Mom had to get extra help. Then came step dad. Mentally abusive with extreme anger issues. He.. Cheats on mom. To this day. But.. His mom's only with that man for money. Obviously... Right?

 

 **The sun went down, we ended up on the ground. I heard the train shake the windows. You screamed over the sound.**

 

Right. Then everything was alright. His bro got therapy. Well needed. Well deserved. Effective too. Mom was getting better. She was smiling and let him hug her a lot more. Her terrible boyfriend was getting worse. He didn't understand. But. He didn't care. He was too focused on getting high.

On anything. 

And then he ran out of razors. 

So he would look a fucking fool in the girls locker room cause he can't shave. Then. There goes his friends. Bye bye. 

But that's more blades... Why'd he break all of them? He only needed one fucking blade.

 

 **And as we own this night I'll put your body to the test with mine**

 

And he promised he would never cut. Strictly rubber bands. But rubber bands weren't enough. He deserved those ugly scars. To punish him. For being here. For causing this. 

Then he drank a lot.  
Heads up: Ibuprofen doesn't get you high. It just puts a fucking hole in your stomach. Surgery is so much fun, especially because, everyone knows you're fucked up. Fun.

 

Then he came along. Perfect friend. Always there. Until he wasn't. He lied. And manipulated. But .. This boy.. Was too consumed with having a real friend. So he kept giving him a chance. 

 

 **This love was out of control. 3-2-1 where did it go?**

 

And the boy fell in love with the brunette haired ( like himself ) green eyed, beautiful mess of a person. Because. He was fucked up. And everyone was fucked up. But everyone deserves love.   
But. This.. Other boy.. Lovely fellow. Denied his request. And he was okay.   
Being friends was great, as long as they didn't hate each other for a year again.   
But. Like the liar this graceful human being was. This green eyed boy had been crushing on his brother.  
His abusive brother.  
Who is homophobic as fuck.  
Who doesn't care about anyone but himself.  
Who laughs at cutters  
And depressed people  
This fucking asshole.  
So he was not okay for once.   
Louis was not okay  
And Louis was thinking of suicide  
Because he's not okay.

 

**Now don't be crazy I smiled of course you can stay here**

 

Louis was smiling much more as of lately. His grades were plummeting dramatically.  
But. He was giving off the impression he was okay. Which is the goal. And Harry was still using him for access to his brother's room. Fun.  
Louis was imagining he was talking to Harry more frequently than not.  
Obsession or actually mentally Ill?  
Louis didnt care. At the end of the day he was trash.

 

 **You know we're going on ten years  
Big deal but I guess you're official **

 

Then Harry and asshole started dating. Or something of that sorts. And then things ended.   
Louis was still powering through life like a fucking champ.   
And he had another chance.  
Louis asked Harry out again.  
Confessing his undying love.  
Shot down.  
Time to look for a new crush?   
Year later that went shit.  
Still loved him..  
Harry went to Louis eventually and cried out his problems.  
Nightmares.. Ghosts.. Feeling sad more than not.. _That No one wanted him_

There was no space left on Louis' upper thighs. So upper stomach it is. Discreet as Hell he knows he's a fucking expert at this point.

 

 **I only said it because I know what it's like to feel. Burned down, It gets you down, We've all been there sometimes**

 

And Louis was coming to the end. This was not coping. And he wasn't addicted to this. It just helped a lot. He could stop anytime.   
Month later that's a fucking lie. 

 

 **But tonight I'll make you feel beautiful once again. And as the sun went down we ended up on the ground. I heard the train shake the windows. You screamed over the sound  
And as we own this night. I'll put your body to the test with mine, This love was out of control, Three, two, one, where did it go? **

 

Then Harry called him beautiful. And explained he just didnt want to date right now. And that gave Louis a real smile.   
Like. Real, rush of adrenaline, blood to the face, muscles contorting without trying.   
And that was a lie. 

Harry had a crush on a little fucking bitch  
Louis had.. Heard the conversation.  
Two blades are dull already.   
School's almost over so whatever.  
Didnt need to shave anyway.  
Fuck girls. Fucking being a girl.  
Not that he was one. But society says so...

 

 **If I were you, I'd put that away  
See, you're just wasted  
And thinking about the past again  
Darling you'll be okay **

 

And Louis held Harry's hand for the first fucking time

 

 **She said,"If you were me, you'd do the same 'Cause I can't take anymore  
I'll draw the shades and close the door  
Everything's not alright and I would rather"**

 

But Harry doesn't know about Louis' fucked up past.   
And Louis' fucked up brain.  
And body.  
And sexuality.  
And gender.  
But Harry's supposedly pan.   
Then why is he only attracted to men.   
And it's been admitted.  
' I'm sexually attracted to guys only. But I feel best identifying as pan'   
Panromantic maybe.... Louis' pretty sure he had 0 chance with Harry.  
And 0 chance with anything.

 

 **And as the sun went down we ended up on the ground. I heard the train shake the windows. You screamed over the sound**

 

So next given reason. He'll end it.  
And he'll sit in his window, in his broken town. In his broken home. With his crooked and broken family.   
And bask in the daylight with a smile.  
Somewhere that isn't here. Somewhere were he won't feel pain.  
Somewhere pleasant.  
Fuck Harry.

 

-  
 **And as we own this night  
I'll put your body to the test with mine  
This love was out of control. Tell me where did it go? **


End file.
